When a child misbehaves at school and receives a warning or punishment from their teacher, many parents instinctively respond with anger at home. Based on the statement from pafikutaikab.org some feel the need to reinforce discipline by scolding the child again, hoping to prevent future mistakes. But psychologists caution that “double punishment” can do more harm than good especially to a child’s emotional well-being and trust in their parents.
The Emotional Impact of Repeated Scolding
According to Dr. Laila Harsono, a child and family psychologist from the Indonesian Psychological Association (HIMPSI), children who are scolded twice for the same mistake often experience confusion and shame rather than understanding.
“When a teacher already reprimands a child at school, the emotional impact is immediate — they feel embarrassed, guilty, and sometimes scared,” Dr. Laila explains. “If parents then repeat the same scolding at home, it doesn’t reinforce discipline; it reinforces humiliation.”
Repeated punishment can make children more defensive, anxious, or withdrawn. Instead of learning from their actions, they might begin to hide their mistakes or lie to avoid being scolded again.
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The Difference Between Discipline and Emotional Support
Experts emphasize that discipline and punishment are not the same thing. Discipline is meant to teach responsibility, while punishment often focuses on control or retribution.
“Children need guidance, not fear,” says Dr. Indra Suryawan, a clinical psychologist specializing in child behavior. “The goal is not to make them afraid of doing wrong, but to help them understand why their behavior was inappropriate and how to make better choices next time.”
Parents can play a vital role in this process by offering calm, empathetic communication. Asking open-ended questions like, “What happened today?” or “How did you feel when the teacher scolded you?” allows the child to reflect and express their emotions safely.
Building Emotional Connection
Rather than focusing solely on the mistake, experts recommend strengthening the parent-child relationship after an incident at school. “Children who feel supported by their parents are more likely to admit their mistakes and try to improve,” says Dr. Indra.
He adds that parents should also consider the teacher’s perspective before reacting. “Teachers manage dozens of students daily. Sometimes, what feels like a big problem to a parent is a simple behavioral correction at school,” he notes. “Communicate with the teacher first before making assumptions.”
How to Respond the Right Way
Psychologists offer several practical steps for parents when a child has been scolded at school:
- Listen first, react later. Let your child share their side of the story before drawing conclusions.
- Avoid harsh language. Replace anger with empathy — use calm, firm, and clear words.
- Focus on solutions. Discuss how they can behave differently next time.
- Praise accountability. Appreciate when your child admits mistakes; it builds honesty.
- Model emotional regulation. Children learn how to handle frustration by observing their parents.
The Takeaway
Parenting is not about amplifying punishment — it’s about guiding growth. When children are already corrected at school, they don’t need another scolding at home; they need understanding, discussion, and reassurance that mistakes are part of learning.
As Dr. Laila concludes, “Discipline rooted in empathy creates stronger, more emotionally secure children. The goal isn’t perfection it’s progress, one conversation at a time.”
Source: Pafikutaikab
